


8 Things the Dragonborn is No Longer Allowed to Do

by MissDelight



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Community: skyrimkinkmeme, Crack, Humor, Lists, Skyrim Kink Meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-22 04:18:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2494145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissDelight/pseuds/MissDelight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A list of things the Dragonborn is no longer aloud to do. Rated M for language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	8 Things the Dragonborn is No Longer Allowed to Do

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for [ this prompt](http://skyrimkinkmeme.livejournal.com/4580.html?thread=10084580#t10084580) on the SkyrimKinkMeme.

1). Shout _FUS RO DAH!_ at climax. The neighbors don't appreciate hearing about their sex life, and they've asked them to stop.

2). Fly through a town on the back of a dragon shouting, "ATREYU!" (re-enacting scenes from The Never Ending Story that no one understands is confusing and alarming the general populace. It is widely held this happened after they looked at an Elder Scroll and all it showed them was that movie from the future).

3). Summon an undead dragon from beyond the vale to chase the bratty children of Whiterun. No matter how much the general populace agrees with it, they're not going to admit it, and have asked they stop.

4). Bring Odahviing to poker night at the Bannered Mare. It's frightening the patrons. Or so they claim. Really, they're sick of watching the dragon fly off with their money at the end of the night. (While the Dragonborn, after looking at another Elder Scroll for fun, is chanting, "P-P-Poker Face, P-Poker Face!", to the confusion of all).

5). Visiting Savngarde on whims. The guided tour group was the final straw. Tsun has asked them to stop. To which the Dragonborn replied, rather cheekily, "Go and find that one guy to stop me. What was his name again? Oh right, DOESN'T FUCKING EXIST!"  
Tsun has escalated his complaint to Shor and is awaiting a reply. Meanwhile, Master Arngeir has become pen pals with Jurgen Windcaller; the two Greybeard leaders are getting along famously.

6). Turn back and forth from vampire to human on purpose. After the 10th transformation, Falion has told them they will _not_ change them back the next time, saying that it is not, in fact, "a great way to lose weight", and that "some people are _really_ into the fangs" is not a good excuse either.

7). Look at Elder Scrolls on a dare at the College of Winterholt. Everyone wants to tell them they should know better, but really, they know the Dragonborn _doesn't_. Or at least doesn't care. (At which point they add, "Indoor plumbing. It's going to be big. Also, a company called Disney.")

8). Read the kinkmeme. Of all their visions through the Elder Scrolls, reading the Skyrimkinkmeme has been the most terrifying to the inhabitants of Skyrim. (And some tales have trumped the _Lusty Argonian Maid_ in popularity.)


End file.
